Frank Batman, of the Wisconsin Batmans (_samalander) wrote in startrek_diary,
Frank Batman, of the Wisconsin Batmans
_samalander
startrek_diary

"This Once-Proud Vessel Has Become/A Floating Psycho Ward"

First a modly note:
-When the comm is moving superfast, we're bound to get some double comments from time to time. I've had a few suggestions on how to handle this. Please keep the following things in mind:

*Double comments should be treated either as a character mistake or ignored. If you go wiht ignoring, to be fair, ignore the one that is second chronologically.

*Double comments can be deleted by me and the OP (unless I am the OP, at which point I hold ALL THE CARDS! WAHAHAHA!) if you make a comment you want deleted, let one of us know.

*You should also try refreshing stuff before you post, to keep it down to a minimum.

If you have other thoughts, please let me know. We'll work something out.


To reward you for reading, here is something I wrote for the kink meme:

EMAIL
From: THE CAPTAIN <j_t_kirk@enterprise.fed.gov>
To: NOT THE CAPTAIN <chrispike@command.fed.gov>
Subject: Report

Admiral,
How's it hanging?
I'm keeping good watch on "your" ship like you told me to. Helps that I have the biggest bunch of freaking geniuses in the fleet. Seriously, what did I do to deserve them?
Yeah, I attached the report you wanted on the sudden rash of off-ship deaths. Let me know if you need anything else.
Jim.


EMAIL
From: CAPTAIN KIRK!!! <j_t_kirk@enterprise.fed.gov>
To: enterprise-all@enterprise.fed.gov
Subject: SCAVENGER HUNT

ATTENTION SHIP!
THERE IS A BOUNTY ON THE UNDERWEAR OF DOCTOR LEONARD MCCOY. FIRST PERSON TO GET HIM TO SURRENDER A PAIR WINS A SPECIAL PRIZE COURTESY OF COMMANDER SPOCK!

CAPTAIN CAPTAIN-PANTS!


EMAIL
From: Lt. Spock <spock@enterprise.fed.gov>
To: enterprise-all@enterprise.fed.gov
Subject: RE: SCAVENGER HUNT

I never agreed to any prize. Please disregard previous message.


EMAIL
From: Admiral Pike <chrispike@command.fed.gov>
To: Captain Kirk <j_t_kirk@enterprise.fed.gov>
Subject: RE: Report

Thanks for the report, Jim.
I'd have thought by now you'd have realized that no ship is given a random crew. Everyone is temperament tested and matched for optimum efficiency during the mission.
By the way, stop abusing the enterprise-all list. I'm still on that thing, you know.
Admiral Pike


EMAIL
From: YOUR LORD AND MASTER THE CAPTAIN <j_t_kirk@enterprise.fed.gov>
To: FlyBoy 1 <hikaru@enterprise.fed.gov>
Subject: Recreational Activities

Lieutenant Sulu,
It has come to my attention that you were seen chasing Ensign Chekov through the halls brandishing your katana the other day. While I find this completely awesome, you might want to keep it in the bedroom from now on. People are complaining.
His Captency, Captain Captain the Captainth.


EMAIL
From: OY WHAT A KIRK IN THE NECK <j_t_kirk@enterprise.fed.gov>
To: PIKE PIKE BO BIKE <chrispike@command.fed.gov>
Subject: RE: RE: Report

Temperament-tested, eh? What, did they send a bunch of suicidal wack-jobs up here with me?


EMAIL
From: Admiral Pike <chrispike@command.fed.gov>
To: Captain Kirk <j_t_kirk@enterprise.fed.gov>
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Report

Well, not suicidal. We didn't know that part 'til later.


EMAIL
From: CAPTAIN SEX GOD <j_t_kirk@enterprise.fed.gov>
To: ENSIGN JAILBAIT <pasha@enterprise.fed.gov>
Subject: Yes, I've also seen Porky's.

Ensign Chekov,
I know you're the one who drilled the peep hole into Yeoman Rand's shower.
Nice work.
Next time, don't get caught.
Stop that, or I'll make Bones prescribe porn. Have you ever seen federation-sanctioned porn?


EMAIL
From: FUCK DA ROMULINS <j_t_kirk@enterprise.fed.gov>
To: POINTY-EARED BASTARD <spock@enterprise.fed.gov>
Subject: Ensign Jailbait

I will give you seven gummi bears if you dance around the bridge and make Ensign Chekov blush.


EMAIL
From: 100% IOWA BEEFSTEAK <j_t_kirk@enterprise.fed.gov>
To: LEGS <chrispike@command.fed.gov>
Subject: Three things

1. New death statistics for you. In the last three weeks, we lost 8 crew members. 15 others went missing in Engineering, presumed used for experiments.
2. I’ve been thinking about your last mail. I can see most of the crazy on the surface. But what's the deal with Uhura?
3. I gave Spock seven gummi bears to make Ensign Chekov blush, and he ate them but didn't do it. :( Can I court-martial him?


EMAIL
From: Admiral Pike <chrispike@command.fed.gov>
To: Captain Kirk <j_t_kirk@enterprise.fed.gov>
Subject: RE: Three things

1. Stop losing crew members. It's hard enough to get low-ranking officers on your ship as it is.
2. She was supposed to be assigned elsewhere, but used her feminine wiles on Spock.
3. No.


EMAIL
From: KIRK THE ALL POWERFUL <j_t_kirk@enterprise.fed.gov>
To: enterprise-all@enterprise.fed.gov
Subject: Away Team Signups

Folks,
We've not gotten any sign-ups for the suicidal mission to the planet of the Big-Breasted Maneaters. If you don’t sign up, I’ll start choosing people at random.


EMAIL
From: Ricky <ensign_ricky@enterprise.fed.gov>
To: The Captain <j_t_kirk@enterprise.fed.gov>
Subject: RE:Away Team Signups

I'll go, but I'm not wearing red.


New alt.gossip will be up tomorrow morning. Hooray!
Tags: just sharing, mod post
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